[HOLY TERROR]

Maybe I'm spoiling too much of it for myself, though I'm kind of trying to keep up the momentum so Good Buddy will let me have it someday, but...

I just looked up my first video of the D2 dragon gameplay.

Wow.
Wow.
The dimensionality of it, the distance, the light, the fog, the weightlessness--scale, color, -distance-...

Like you could fly forever. Probably you can't; I'm sure something would stop you. Probably I'd try anyway.

The freakish biomechanical cancer sprouting all over the world here, with the bugs and all--so much contrast between all that squirming complexity and those deep voids of cloud and light that it hits you in the gut, that visceral aberration, so much wrongness--

...I'd hope that there's room in the game for flying in places like this without having to play bullet hell with fifty enemy dogfighters and whatever.

Isamu's Heaven is out there--speed, speed, lift, lift, then Light without compare, Light that moves like the limbs of God, opening for you, and if there is darkness after then all is still well, because all beyond that Gate is perfection.

The second word was "wind"
Showing me the way to go
I spread my wings and fly
Into the waiting arms of God.
And, as if counting out all the sorrows in my life
As they all fell away,
The golden apples fall
One
by
one...

Oh gods, I cannot believe that I saw it, that they did it.
Sometimes, humans get things right.

Um...what the Christ...?

How is it that this guy can go around remixing this thing for profit when--I thought, at least--Overclocked exists because people had to remix for free to avoid getting killed by VG lawyers? Is Zelda just old enough that it's up for grabs now or something?

Not that it's unsexy, just that I've heard lots of epic mixes from OC and wonder where this guy's special specialness came from. :P

This one's kind of sexy too, but there's a shortage of 8-bit VG OSTs in it. NEED MOAR NES PLZ.

We got a copy of -Blood Reaver-, the next book in Aaron Alphasoup's Night Lords series, following -Soul Hunter-. Somehow, I guess since we ordered this back when it was just a preorder page with no info on it, we never read a summary before we had the book in hand. I just read the back cover. So THAT'S what they're after!! OH EXPLOITABLE, cue the following:

*The Loyalist Marines Errant captain opens communications with the Night Lords ship, causing the Exalted, in all his drippy, demon-possessed glory, to appear on the big bridge screen. At least one crewmember throws up in horror. Since there are no lights on Night Lord ships, the Exalted is probably holding a flashlight underneath his chin while attempting to smile charmingly.*

EXALTED: Why, hello, brethren!
MARINES ERRANT CAPTAIN JOHANN: ...Forgive me, Captain, but...my, what big claws you have.
E: The better to clasp my beloved kinsmen to my breast in joy, dear Captain!
J: And also, I must say...what big teeth you have, Captain.
E: The better to eat you wi-- *cough* Er, the better to sip the tea of friendship and nibble the warm scones of brotherhood by your side, dear Captain!
J: I appreciate your sincerity, but perhaps you could also tell me why, when we run a pattern-recognition scan on your ship, the database is telling us that you are an Ultramarines battle barge named Friendly Ship Full of Friendly Loyalist Nice People when in fact you appear to be a strike cruiser with heraldry suggesting--
E: Ah, well, we've just been in a war. Some wars, actually. Battle damage, you know, makes a bitch of a craft's outlines.

*Johann looks out a viewport, regarding the midnight blue-and-brass color scheme and the huge bat-winged skull on the prow of the cruiser, not to mention all those eight-pointed Chaos stars.*

J: Must have been quite a crusade. That's one hell of a lot of battle damage. *looks back* Perhaps you'd like to dispense with the charade.
E: You know, I and my fellow sons of Ultramar are honored to deal with a man who knows how to shoot straight. My dear Johann--do you mind if I call you Johann, since we are about to be wonderful true friends? you can call me HIS SPLENDIFEROUS AWESOMEHOOD, THE EXALTED, if you like--dear Johann, would it be wrong of me to assume that we are probably both men who are quite certain of our interests and desires in life?
J: ...You would not be incorrect. I think.
E: And in that case, dear Johann, you would not be uncomfortable if I and my brothers were absolutely direct with you, even to the point of being a little, shall we say, shocking?
J: By this point, I'd practically insist on it.
E: Well, then, this is the situation. We want your hot Primarch gravy.
J: ...
E: WE WANT ALL OF IT.
J: ......
E: GALLONS, EVEN.
J: *blushing violently* I...well...but our Chapters, they hardly know each other, we can't just-- Perhaps if you were to come over for a few banquets and meet the Chapter Master--
E: DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I WANT IT BAD ENOUGH TO CRACK YOUR FUCKING SHIP OPEN AND SUCK IT FROM YOUR LIFELESS CORPSES WITH VERY EMBARRASSING MACHINES?
J: Listen, this is a bit much for me right now--
E: You realize that I wouldn't come begging like this if I hadn't had any for a very, very, very long time. Can you help a cousin out or no?
J: No. This is getting way too personal way too fast.
E: *grinning evilly* Then the charade is dispensed with indeed! We are the Night Lords...and we are coming for you.
J: I find that comment to be in extremely poor taste, given the topic just under discussion.
E: *off balance* Er...um...

*Somebody off-screen who sounds suspiciously like Sergent Talos starts giggling hysterically. The Exalted throws an inkwell at him.*

J: I demand an apology before we commence killing each other.
E: You know, I'm a very important man. I'm not in the habit of apologizing to no-name Loyalists who refuse give up their seed when I need it the most.
J: People who don't apologize are usually respected by no one, have no friends, and die miserable deaths all alone. But suit yourself.
E: ...............I'm...sorry.
OFFSCREEN GUY: *cough*pussy*ahem*PUSSY*coughcough*
E: Shut UP! I AM a special snowflake!! I AM I AM I AM!! *throws a bunch more office supplies, including a red stapler*

I should stop there. Oh, you wacky Space Marines, always getting all worked up about who gets to siphon your dad's divine tubesteak sauce. ^________^ ...WAIT, I mean, there's absolutely no subtext to the geneseed thing! NONE!! Nothing to see here!! ^.^

(Yeah, I know, I know, I never post, I never call, you probably think I don't like you anymore... Don't beat yourself up too much, okay?)

I really think that the world needs a Dragonforce cover of "Ec Tisia." On the big choral parts, they could use a passel of little British schoolchildrins, like Pink Floyd did for "Another Brick in the Wall." It would be an epically epic thing, for certain, and given the speed at which they hammer those throbbing axes, it would also be, like, thirty seconds long. BUT A LIZARD CAN DREAM, DAMN YOU.

Riss was saying afterward that hell, why not ask for Dragonforce covers of ALL the Reyvateil songs, especially the fuzzy, happy ones like "Phantasmagoria." Well, yeah, of course, but really...there could be too much of a good thing. This is sort of like that rumor of Hirasawa Susumu covering "I Will Survive." He doesn't have to put out an album of awesome disco hits played on solar-powered nerd instruments--he just has to make ONE AWESOME SONG. And that is what the world needs now. One flawless, shining moment in which Dragonforce joined hands with cute, world-ending bio-computers shaped like girls and loaded with sound-manipulation software.

Something brilliant would happen, I guarantee it. World peace, maybe. Or maybe just a storm of fancreatures coming so hard from the shining beauty of it all that they would pop like ticks right in the middle of the YouTube video, which would become legendary for its ability to kill people, kind of like -The Ring- except that it would end life with the power of TRANSCENDENT HAPPINESS and not with any bullshit involving a dead kid in a well.

Also, I have not yet heard the Blind Tiggy weighing in, but I'm being preemptive. Yes, no shit, Dragonforce + "EXEC_EP=NOVA" would probably cause the Second Coming, only nobody would notice from the glory of--

--And BT just popped in as I am writing. He says no, the very best combo would be Sisters of Mercy/Andrew Eldritch doing EXEC_EP=NOVA. ...That thought kicks so much ass that I can't even THINK IT. OMFG, trust the musical planetburner to come up with the best damn ideas--I wish we could ask Andrew to cover that as a favor. I'd make Riss buy a new phone just so we could use his "zumzumNYAANYAMO" section as a ringtone. We could scare small children with it and give them nightmares for weeks! :D <3 <3

Okay, Riss says I have to stop fucking around because his ROTC boss noticed that he doesn't sleep and actually ORDERED him to go to bed. That's a nice boss. ^_^

THAT IS ALL, CITIZENS. RETURN TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED, SUB-FAGGOTY INTERNET. <3

...I'm telling you guys, if we could make these ideas happen, we could CHANGE THE WORLD. *_*

[EDIT (without honor or humanity):]
Right after I posted this, Riss looked at my custom mood for this entry and said, "I guess I'd never thought of the song servers as being phallic before. But I guess that they are sort of large and tower-like."

"Damn straight," said I, "and in the first game, the adorable heroines have an Ultimate Spell where they trigger a massive energy output in the tower, which spews an enormous stream of white energy-spoo down upon the hapless mortals."

We thought about that.

"Too bad it comes out of the wrong place," said I. "It's sort of in the middle of the tower instead of the top."

Riss has learned about interesting genital permutations in his Sex With Humans Human Sexual Psychology class. Fiercely and with much justice, he declares, "We must be compassionate for the Tower of Sol Ciel's perforated urethra!!"

"That is the most quotable shit I have heard in a long time," said I. "I'm blogging this."

"No, you aren't."

"Yes, I am. See this edit button?"

And thusly, my children, did this edit come to be. ^_______^ Good night, now!

Um...! Gee! Um! *^^*

Elljay has a little dragon in their virtual gifts now!! 8D Awww, it's so cute.

I asked Riss to buy me one, but I don't know if he will. Srsly, I know Elljay is a sinister left-hand organization that rapes babies and eats kittens on rye and the free people of this world need to stand up and vote with their dollars, but FYIAD and shouldn't we dragons have some kind of advertising/badge of honor-type thing to stick on our journals and polish with pride? ;B

I kind of want to buy one for Baxil! And I would buy one for one of Kaijima's inactive accounts, because hey, at least they're not deleted. :D Probably he would be all freaked out with the O HAY KAI I GAVE MONEYS TO EBIL OVERLORD AND BOT DRAGGIN 4 U SEEEEEEE that would blindside his email from nowhere, but I still think it's a good plan.

I noticed that there's no "Epic Furry Porn" gift in the "Gag" section. Probably it could be like a little black box with CENSORED across it. Can you imagine all the people in the local blogosphere who would have a good reason to buy furry porn for each other? It's not just for furries, after all. XD

Anyway, we're getting hungry and Riss needs to make food and get us a shower and do other shit with himself while carefully NOT punching walls, so I'll let the keyboard go. I'm typing this on the netbook, BTW. This little fucker is CUTE, I tellya. <3

"The Dragon is a silly bitch. ^_^"

I may keep poking at this list, because I am silly like that. BT and I were SERIOUSLY keen on taking over Riss' page and doing the same thing for him, but he gets whiny and catfighty about it and so we are holding off until we can sneak in a ninjapost beneath the radar.

Riss. A small cardboard box. THE CONNECTION IS CLEAR. O_O

But what might not be clear is this: am I really being silly, or am I really being serious? ;3

I...uh...yeah! EXACTLY like that!

Can't...tear eyes away from...fiddly mechanical details...TTT_TTT

Wonder what that long-dead Ultramarine champion is thinking. At least she's got a combo lock where it counts--ain't nothing better to ward off corruption by the Ruinous Powers. Greater Demons of Slaanesh take one look at that pious girl and can't do anything but flounce off in tears, you know it.

....'K, back to searching for images. Like, the regular kind of images. ^_______^;;

EDIT:
Fuck yeah, Internet, remind me how dead sexy that Forge World Trygon looks when it's all painted up. I keep telling Riss that we need one of these bastards as an enormous paperweight someday, because the model's seven inches tall or so and wouldn't it look intimidating on an authority figure's desk? Or not? ;B He shoots me down by pointing out that the things cost $200 or something...or actually, looking at the FW Tyranid page, I guess they're extinct? ..........I should go cry now. <|3

So some of the people who are on our Furaffinity watch list will periodically get all hyped up about their action figure designs for PatchTogether, which I think has some kind of deal where they'll make custom action figures (or maybe just plastic models? I dunno) if you can get enough people to sign up and say that they're willing to buy whatever you designed. AlectorFencer used 'em to make a glow-in-the-dark dirt wolf sculpture with mushrooms growing out of its back, which is all kinds of 733+.

Now Sixthleafclover is at it again. WHAT THE FFFFFFFFF

A White Wolf Nagah in war-form, looking awfully disgruntled about something. "Surely, this alone would be awesome enough," we might say. But Sixthleafclover is not limited by the bullshit standards of ordinary consumers. No, she considered the visual impact of a 30-ft-long armored mass of pissed-off weresnake muscle and found something...lacking. Something incomplete.

"I will rescue you from the pain of your own mediocrity, giant face-eating girl viper from Hell!" she declared with brave tears of compassion in her eyes. "You cry out to me in your need, and yes, I have heard your prayer! I know that I cannot release you into the hands of the buying public without the one thing that makes you whole...A HUGE-ASS FANTASY-STYLED SNIPER RIFLE WITH ENORMOUS UNDERSLUNG BLADES AND GOLD DETAILING THAT YOU CAN TOTALLY SHOOT ONE-HANDED FOR NO DAMN REASON AT ALL."

...You realize that when I talk like this, I AM expressing genuine admiration, because shit that is awesome and looks cool while not making sense is pretty well up my alley. I dig how the pose is all, "My right hand may be squeezing off this hot, leaden load of DEATH, but my left hand is very lonely and is still looking for something to kill. :_("

There are color variations too, but I was a little disappointed with the naming scheme. After seeing the "Marmalade Sunset" flavor of doom-wielding death snake, I was totally psyched for the others to also have delicious edible flavors! ...But they do not. T_T Thus, I rename them: Chocolate Raspberry in the upper right, Sugar-Coated in the lower right, and Double Chocolate in the lower left. FIXED IT FOR YA, SIS~

In other news, we've finished watching Den-O, including the movie. ...I kind of have a wish list of awesome stuff that I was actually expecting to happen, but which never did materialize. This is not to say that I'm necessarily disappointed to the extent that I regret watching it, because the earlier parts of the series are still uncontested solid badass of the highest quality. (Hands-down best part of the movie: Ryuutaros summoning backup dancers for the Hip Hop Climax Jump and getting a troupe of female tapdancers in tuxedos FROM FUCKING NOWHERE. They should have saved that for the end, because nothing else in the show was at quite that level of godliness. T_T) It just kind of felt like the writers started getting sort of lazy, then REALLY lazy, then finally there was a point where somebody important said, "You know, I'm fucking done here. Viewers, y'all come watch Kamen Rider Kiva now!!" It was sort of sad. :_( But I think we also DLd the superdeformed Imagin anime series, so maybe we will still get to bask in the nonsensical wonder that is Ryuutaros-tachi. I hope.

...Man, I don't want Riss to go do productive crap. We have shit to do, dammit. And by that, I mean important stuff like watching Legend of Galactic Heroes and typing up a review of DRAGONAUT: THE FETISH FUEL RESONANCE~~

So yeah! Riss had to take a break to eat and let his eyeballs unmelt after making huge Excel documents about grad school! And...we've been watching -Kamen Rider Den-O- because we already finished watching all of -Dragonauts- (SUMMARY: YAYYYYYY but conditionally so O_O), and I'm typing as fast as I can because we have to get back to work and.......

Um. Um um um. EPISODES 13-14. Introducing Ryuutarou.

GAWWWWWWWD YOU GUYS what's there not to adore?? So he's like a walk-in superhero demon from the future, who uses all this dragon imagery, is PURPLE, is adorably huggy and sweet to small animals, and whose humanoid form involves a vinyl trenchcoat with dragony bling all over it and earphones. Worn ON his snarly dragon facemask. WHAT. And as if they couldn't figure out enough weird shit to do with him, his appearances are heralded by a burst of hiphop theme music and he is accompanied by a posse of street-dancing, brainwashed highschoolers who apparently exist only to make him look awesome by GETTIN' DOWN N' SYNCHRONIZED. FFFFFFFFFFF

And then? And then? ALL that shit was not good enough. So there had to be the braingasm-inducing sequence where all four Tarou-Trains piled up into one giant train beast that spiraled up into the heavens and whirled in a glorious CG duel with the Evil CG Dragon, filling half the screen with enormous Lasers Of Hotness and explosions and other things.

I'm so glad that I'm asexual or else I might have had to PAUSE MY VIDEO in order to attend to URGENT AND SURELY UNRELATED BUSINESS. C_C

True statement: in the midst of all of this flash, there was really no substantial personality development for the guy. He's barely a character HE'S A FUCKING FORCE OF NATURE ARGHARGHARGH. But man, I so don't care. Snow me, Den-O Writing Staff. Snow me until I don't care about coherent plot anymore. SNOW ME HARDER~~~ TTT______TTT

I wish I could write more, but I have no time!! QUICKLY, things I love about -Kamen Rider Den-O-:
1) Motorcycles--they come from NOWHERE.
2) Awesome monster designs featuring awesome monster costumes that I wish I could wear to school, to work, to the gym, to the pool...! Hell, they're fucking indestructible, given what the actors do to them!!
3) RYUUTAROU~~~ Actually, I love all the Tarous. I love the whole plural living aspect. YES.
4) COFFEE. Everyone in this show should be so fucking buzzed that they should be incapable of sleep. Tired from spirit possession? COFFEE. Angry at life? COFFEE. Sitting in one place for more than two minutes? COFFEE. And Naomi, the bizarre Japanese fashion plate coffee-dispensing maximum-squee Girl Of Future WHO'S GOTTA BE AN ANDROID OR SOMETHING---
4) Ummmmm...I can't think of anything more that's short! Ryuutarou loves small animals and is a nice person!! He's an awesome purple dragon who hugs puppies WATCH THIS SHOW DAMN YOU RAWRRRRR

Okay, I have to let Riss have the keyboard. ;_; *cry*

So Riss has shit that it wants to post about, but he isn't posting about any of it because his brain is still screwed up, so, like...I dunno, my squee goes solo into the void or something.

Totally by accident, because we got this email from an HK anime distributor that we've gotten dirt-cheap series from before, we have suddenly learned about Dragonaut: The Resonance. We read the blurb on the website, and I felt sort of intrigued, but in a trainwreck-rubbernecker kinda of way.

For, as I quote: With a deadly asteroid hurtling towards Earth, sexy human Dragonauts in tight uniforms and their curvaceous dragon companions come together to create a formidable fighting force with all the right moves.

...O_O... Buh?

The cover has this cute girl on the front who is supposedly this badass space dragon soldier, and in the background there's this cheesy CG monster dragon. So I'm all thinking, "Wait, so there are adorable girls who turn into giant nova-eyeballed kaiju who fight to the death? IN SPACE? Does anyone get symbolically eaten, like in Evangelion? Can we get that too??" And Riss is all thinking, "Wait, the BOYS are in tight uniforms? I can has??" Because Riss is, in NO way whatsoever, obsessed with cock. p9.9q

Anyway, Wikipedia is the necessary next stop. Things are actually interesting in a non-trainwreck sense now, which is pretty fucking thrilling, at least if you're me.

Toa is a mysterious girl who saves Jin from a dragon in the first episode. She is shown to have remarkable athletic abilities, extraordinary strength, and accelerated healing capabilities, possibly due in part to the fact that she is a dragon.

Oh hell yeah. OBVIOUSLY. Get your shit together, Wikiauthors.

In her dragon form, she is immensely powerful; she is able to take on more than two other dragons at a time.

...Toa, if you ever need a boyfriend/girlfriend/genderless monster friend, I...I'm unattached right now...<3_____<3 We could, like, punch buildings together and blow up planets and I would buy you sodas and be really nice to you because I love you...a little bit...um...**U______U**.......

So the giant meteor that's about to destroy Earth is called Thanatos, AND--

Thanatos reveals itself to be a huge dragon, which is capable of releasing billions of dragon spawns

It's Unicron! With dragons!! :D

It also possesses a soul, which is made up of countless beings' "spirits" or consciousness. ...After seeing humanity's nature, it deemed them foolish, and wanted to destroy it, but after showing interest in Jin and Toa's love for each other, it instead wants to fuse with all of humanity at the expense of human life.

It's FF7 (sorta)! With MOAR DRAGINZ!! XD

To successfully become a Dragonaut, one has to successfully resonate with a dragon egg.

It's Anne fucking McCaffrey...IN SPAAAAAAACE!!! XD XD (And with all the boring shit taken out, because really, no one cares about anything but the dragons.)

A Communicator is a dragon's humanoid form. It is later implied in the series that in order for a dragon to take Communicator form, it has to complete a Resonance with a human.

It's Dragonlance: The Legend of Huma...IN SPAAAAAAAACE!!! *hilariously superfluous number of XD faces*

Vritra Unit (ヴリトラ･ユニット, Vuritora Yunitto?) - Another ISDA unit tasked with destroying Thanatos.

HAY HEAT UR PIKTURS IN TEH PAPURZ LOOK

In conclusion: I believe that this is a must-get, even though I don't have the sense that it's going to unseat any of the established classics in our collection. But dude, look at what's IN there. I don't think it can suck.

Speaking of things that can't possibly suck, I think we need to sit down sometime and actually watch Crazy Guy with Super Kung Fu, which we bought for $2 used at a recent FYE sale. Look at the title, people--INSANE FACE-ROCKING IS ASSURED. Although I wonder if anything will ever be quite as nifty as Deadly China Hero, when Jet Lee dressed up like a chicken in order to do battle with thirty rival kung-fu fighters who were all inside a fire-breathing centipede costume. The earth shifted on its axis when that movie was released, I have no doubt. *_____*